Warriors Episode 1: Into the Wild
by Sakeraa
Summary: Finally! A warriors movie! But what's this? The actors are blundering, inexperienced cats who've never read the books or script? The prop master uses cardboard twolegs? This is all on an uber low budget? What in StarClans name will we do?
1. Credits

**Whadyaknow? Most movies have their credits at the end, but you get to enjoy them at the beginning! **

Bluestar – Angelkins

Lionheart – Fauntleroy

Spottedleaf – Petal

Tigerclaw – Fluffy

Whitestorm – Rambo

Darkstripe – Alfie

Longtail – Wriggle

Runningwind – Nermal

Willowpelt – Laplover

Mousefur – Lacy

Dustpaw – Hairball

Graypaw - Tibby

Ravenpaw – Titan

Sandpaw – Catnip

Firepaw – Silk Sock Sam

Frostfur – Estee

Brindleface – Kayla

Goldenflower – Sleepy

Speckletail – Jitterbug

Halftail – Junko Tabby

Smallear – MacGyver

Patchpelt – Madame Phloi

Dappletail – Manapui

Brokenstar – Oops

Blackfoot – Itchy

Runningnose – Yitzak

Clawface – Vegas

Tallstar – Zorro

Crookedstar – Killer

Oakheart – Lynx

Leopardfur - Ky

Yellowfang – Jazzykat

Smudge – Dude

Barely – Donny

Director: Dewy

Scene setter-upper: Seanna

Makeup person: Babe

Sound Effects person: Scroobious

Special Effects person: Yatzee

Props person: Bubba


	2. The Prologue

**Disclaimer: Warriors books belong to Erin Hunter... But the movie belongs to me! Mwahaha!**

* * *

**Dewy: **Actors on the set!

**Fluffy:** Where?

**Dewy:** You're the actor, dummy!

**Fluffy:** Oh yeah.

**Dewy:** You're playing the part of Tigerclaw? -looks up and down critically-

**Fluffy:** (nervously) Uh… Yeah.

**Dewy:** Well, you look a little soft, but that's nothing a little makeup won't fix. -claps paws- Babe! Tigerclaw! Makeup! Now!

**Babe:** -comes running in- You're playing the part of Tigerclaw? -looks up and down critically-

**Fluffy:** Yes…

**Babe:** Well, come here then! -drags Fluffy roughly down to trailer-

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

(The lights come on, revealing the scene. A tiny itty bitty stream trickles through dead grass, next to rocks about the size of a cats head)

**Dewy:** (whispering) That's the river and Sunningrocks?

**Seanna:** We couldn't find anything better with our budget.

**Dewy:** Ah.

(The RiverClan cats creep through the stream, looking disdainful at having to get their paws wet. ThunderClan await them, sharing tongues casually.)

**Dewy:** You guys are on!

**Fluffy-as-Tigerclaw:** Ah! RiverClan warriors! Retreeeat!

(All actors scatter, including the RiverClan ones)

**Dewy:** CUT! Fluffy, Tigerclaw is supposed to lead the ThunderClan cats into battle!

**Fluffy:** B-but they looked so s-scary creeping across the p-pebbles like that!

**Dewy:** -sigh-

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

**Dewy:** You're perfect for the part of Bluestar!

**Petal:** -blinks -Uh… I play the part of Spottedleaf. Bluestar is blue-gray.

**Dewy:** Of course she is. Ah! You must play the part of Bluestar!

**Angelkins:** Of course! Now, I was told I would be supplied with a comfortable suite, complete with lavish kitty food and a velvet-lined bed.

**Dewy:** We'll get to that later, shall we? (in under-tone) Who told her that?

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

(The set is a grassy hill in blinding daylight)

**Dewy:** It was supposed to be an empty clearing at night-time!

**Seanna:** It would be nice if someone told me these things!

(Angelkins and Petal enter)

**Angelkins-as-Bluestar:** So, how is Mousefur recovering?

**Petal-as-Spottedleaf:** How should I know? She's at camp and I'm here.

**Dewy:** Cut! Petal, you're supposed to say 'Her wounds are deep, Bluestar, but she is young and strong, she will heal quickly'. Didn't you read the script?

**Petal:** No.

**Dewy:** -sigh- Take two!

**Angel-as-Bluestar:** So, how is Mousefur recovering?

**Petal-as-Spottedleaf:** Ah, she'll live. It serves her right for battling RiverClan warriors, anyway.

**Dewy:** Cut!

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

**Angelkins-as-Bluestar:** It is at times like these that we need the words of the, uh… Well, have you had any signs from the dead cats recently?

**Petal-as-Spottedleaf:** Nah… I think they're mad at me for some reason.

(Bubba throws a plastic star over the set)

**Petal-as-Spottedleaf:** Holy wow! I just saw a shooting star in broad daylight! It must be a sign! It means, uh, Fire will ravage ThunderClans camp and destroy all living things!

**Dewy:** Cut!

**Petal:** Well how was I supposed to remember the dumb prophecy anyway?

* * *

**I hope you found it funny! My first plainly humorous story, lol. Let me know what you thought of it! And tell me if anything needs improving. I'll update soon!**


	3. Chappy One with Lavish Cat Food!

* * *

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

(The lights come on to reveal a rather grimy kitchen, with a bright red cat sleeping in a box lined with yellow newspaper)

**Dewy:** Why is he bright red?

**Babe:** His fur wasn't fiery enough so we dyed it Dynamic Dynamite Red. What happened to the dream?

**Dewy:** We decided the dream was boring so we skipped right into the part where he wakes up.

**Babe:** Ah.

**Silk Sock Sam-as-Rusty:** I'm hungry! FEED ME!

**Cardboard twoleg:** Here kitty goes, a lavish cat food with Swedish chocolate truffles on the side.

**Silk Sock Sam-as-Rusty:** Yum!

**Angelkins:** MY LAVISH CAT FOOD! –attacks Rusty-

**Dewy:** Noooo! Get the lion tamer in here!

**Cardboard twoleg-as-lion tamer:** Ya! Ya! Back you animal!

**Angelkins:** GrooOOWL!

(SilkSockSam quickly snarfs lavish cat food and runs away)

**Dewy:** Cut! That's a wrap! Onto the next scene!

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Lalalala… Hmmm. Woah, I wonder what's in the forest?

**Dude-as-Smudge:** Probably hungry wild cats.

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** No way! How do you know that?

**Dude-as-Smudge:** My uncle got eaten by a wildcat.

**Dewy:** Cut! Dude, where in the script does it say that?

**Dude:** Uh… -looks over script- Oh, it doesn't say that after all! Haha.

**Dewy:** Take two!

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** No way! How do you know that?

**Dude-as-Smudge:** Henry got eaten by a wild cat once.

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** That fat tabby never went into the forest! He's too lazy. Besides, if he got eaten once, how can he be not eaten now?

**Dude:** Uh… Line?

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Oooh, prettyful bushy red tail…

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Hey there kittypet! –pounces-

**SilkSockSam:** Ahhh! Hey! No one told me anything about being attacked!

**Dewy:** Haven't you ever read the books?

**SilkSockSam:** Uh… No.

**Tibby:** What about the script?

**SilkSockSam:** Of course not! I don't have time to read a stupid script! We have to get this movie done first, duh!

**Dewy:** -sigh- Take two!

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Grr!

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Aieee! –runs away-

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Heeey! Waaaaiiit up!

**SilkSockSam:** Okay. –stops and begins grooming self-

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Hey there kittypet! You fight pretty well for a really fat kitty!

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** What? –sniffle-

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Nuthin. Say, what are you doing out here anyway?

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** I just wanted to see what was out h. –innocent blink- So you're a wild cat, huh?

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Oh yeah. I eat wandering kittypets.

**Dewy:** Cut! Tibby, wildcats don't eat wandering kittypets! Take two!

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Yeah. I have to hunt for my Clan and I have to check the elders for ticks and I have to do whatever my mentor says… (mumbling)

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Well, if you were a kittypet, you wouldn't have to do all that!

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Really? Cool!

**Dewy:** Cut!

**Tibby-as-Graypaw:** Well it makes _sense_ to me!!!

* * *

**Next chapter we'll see a little behind-the scenes work! Stay tuned and please review!**


	4. Chappy Two with a Coffee Break!

**Sorry, everyone, for the uber-long wait, and thanks for being so patient! Thanks for all the great reviews... I'm glad you like it! Now, finally what you've all been waiting for!**

**

* * *

**

**Angelkins:** yawn This acting stuff sure is a bit more trying than I thought it would be.

**Tibby:** Do you think Dewy would get mad if we ad-lib?

**SilkSockSam:** Most likely.

**Tibby:** Darn it. You know, this movie is going to turn out dull. There's no humor in it!

**Angelkins**: Hmm, something's wrong with my coffee.

**SilkSockSam:** It's liver flavored… Hmm… 'Made in twolegplace'?

**Tibby:** You know, Dewy is still mad at me for that last scene.

**SilkSockSam:** He'll get over it.

**Angelkins:** We ought to prank Dewy and the other directors.

**SilkSockSam and Tibby:** YeaH!

**Rambo:** Wazzup all ya kittehs?

**SilkSockSam:** Who are you?

**Rambo:** Name's Rambo. I'm-a comin' up in the next scene. I play—

**Tibby:** Perfect! You can act as a distraction while our prank takes place.

**Rambo:** Wha? What trick you tiggers talkin' 'bout?

**Angelkins:** Help now, ask questions later. Come on! Let our plan commence!

**SilkSockSam:** We don't have a plan yet though…

**Angelkins:** That's why we have to plan it! smacks SilkSockSam on head

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

_5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Quiet on the set!_

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty**: Da da da… Doo pe doo…

**Faultleroy-as-Lionheart:** -leaps onto the set- Tada!

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** YAAH!

**Dewy:** Cut! Great StarClan, can't you actors get anything right? SippySappy, stop screeching at everything you see, okay?

**SilkSockSam:** Acutally, it's…

**Dewy:** Take two!

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty**: Oh, hey again Lionheart, my good bud!

**Faultleroy-as-Lionheart:** I'm nobody's bug, got it?

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Actually, I said…

**Rambo-as-Whitestorm:** Hey there, kittypet! Have you decided to join our Clan?

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty**: Totally!

**Rambo-as-Whitestorm:** That's great! Follow us!

_The two Clan cats and the Clan-cat-to-be travel through a sparse forest with no foliage and a wooden floor._

**SilkSockSam-as-Rusty:** Hey, this looks an awful lot like my old home!

**Rambo-as-Whitestorm:** Good! You'll feel at home here.

**Faultleroy-as-Lionheart:** Shh! Stick to the script!

**Dewy**: Cut!

**SilkSockSam:** Now what?

**Dewy:** You're in the wrong set! You're supposed to be traveling through the forest, not the old twoleg home!

**SilkSockSam, Faultleroy and Rambo:** Ohhhhhhhhh.

**Dewy**: -sigh- Let's do it again!

_Meanwhile…_

**Angelkins**: Let's see… Dry Ice?

**Tibby:** Check.

**Angelkins:** Buckets full of water?

**Tibby:** Check.

**Angelkins**: Cardboard twoleg?

**Tibby:** Check.

**Angelkins**: Elastic?

**Tibby:** Check.

**Angelkins:** Bricks?

**Tibby:** Check.

**Angelkins:** Rope?

**Tibby**: Check.

**Angelkins:** Good. We're all set. Quick, while Dewy's busy shooting!

**Tibby.** Yeah!

* * *

**Oh my. Wouldn't want to be Dewy when he walks into his office. -snickers- Tune in next time for... Uh, something.**


End file.
